Code Brown- toilet training a ninja.

It's been a difficult couple of weeks.  The title says it all.  I've lost count of how many times spew and poo bugs have torn through this household this year.  Due to my close proximity to various bodily fluids..... I have a 100% hit rate for catching illnesses.


All that screaming 'SHARE!! SHAREEE!!' has backfired on me, it seems.  Note to self.  Nobody has to share anymore.  It's ok.


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I just want to take a moment to shout out to my one follower.  Hey there, I see you. 
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Amongst the challenges of our recent illnesses, I managed to claim one small victory, in the form of a white porcelain bowl.  Toilet training!  It's happening!  I can almost hear the groans.  'Bout time!'  Yes, it most definitely is.  Now seems like a good time to praise Ninja 1 for his excellent body awareness and communication.  High five, buddy.


So here are my top toilet training tips.  Ninja style, of course.


1. Accept that there will be shit on the floor at some point.  You're going to have to touch it.  Deal with it.
2. Nudie time is best conducted outside.  You're less likely to find yourself touching excrement.
3. Forget about potties.  They're stupid and you just have to wash them out anyway with one or both ninjas clinging to your legs.  (See point 1- high probability of touching a turd in this instance).
4. Beware of teaching your ninja how to remove their nappy for toileting.  They WILL remove it after they've filled it.  It will be smeared everywhere.  (this hasn't happened yet but I can sense it coming.  Watch this space.)
5. Praise until your throat is sore. 
6. Don't bring chocolate or treats into the mix.  It's just another opportunity for your ninja to attempt to outwit you and gain access to the stash.
7. Become a proficient rapper.  Make up a phat rhyme for each and every toilet trip.  Dance moves are optional.
8. Ninjas don't care about reward charts or stickers.  So don't bother.  A simple high five and an inversion/somersault is enough of a payoff.


The next step of course, is ditching the nappies altogether and trialling undies.  It breaks my heart to think that spiderman is going to bear the brunt of some major accidents.. but alas, it can't be helped.  I'm sure he'd understand.


Stay tuned for future developments!




Riveting...