Being THAT woman (ninja)

Ok, look.

When I became a mother, I didn't suddenly lose my sense of style or my personality.  I didn't become this dowdy, unappealing, uninteresting shell of myself, as some might have you believe.

I feel like I need to tell you all it's ok- even desirable to be THAT woman.  The one everyone judges but secretly wishes they had the kohunas to be like.

I didn't stop listening to the music I like, and I didn't stop being me (rad).  I still dye my hair crazy colours and I have a vocabulary just as colourful.  I just levelled up, that's all.  (learned to quell my enthusiastic swearing a little bit.)

It's probably time for one of those excellent DO and DON'T style posts.  In two parts- because this blog is overdue for a cliffhanger.  So here's what I don't.. do.

"Don't do what Donny Don't does!"

Um.....

Shall we?

Things I don't do. (Society.  LOOKING AT YOU.)

1. Join the coles/woolworths/other super-mega-corporation baby club.
Because having a super-mega-corporation tell me how to parent just seems like a bit of a drag.

2. Babywear because it's hip.
I do babywear.  Because I don't know how the hell not to.  My pram is beautiful but useless.  And how are you supposed to do 'jazz hands' to other random mums at the shops if you don't have both hands free? 

3.  Avoid pink things because I have boys only.
I like pink.  Do I need a reason to not abolish an entire colour from my life?

4.  Find ads about various baby accessories/products informative.
I find them misleading and kinda patronizing if I'm honest.  'All the best moms are feeding their baby [insert processed food here]'  is how it comes across.

5.  Critique every other woman's performance as a mother.
A lot of the judgement mums face is indirect.  Kinda like fear of being judged, before it even happens.  I don't know about you, but I'm not out there looking to scrutinize some poor sleep deprived woman.  I'm looking for coffee.  With cream.  If anything, I'm judging myself........

6.  Require a massive circus-tent style nursing cover for public feeding.
I don't buy a lot of crap I don't need.  People have necks.  People have boobs.  They should probably turn their necks if they're offended by boobs.

7. Spend $80 on a single nursing bra.
Again, no.  Crap I don't need.  Beautiful, but crap.  Nobody was looking at my bra.... they were too busy awkwardly shuffling, trying to avoid potentially seeing a boob.

8. Give a fuck if the other mums at kindy don't say hello to me.  Truth is.... I don't want to talk to anyone at that time of day. 

9. Adopt the fashion sense of an old lady the instant I reproduced.  (TARGET, KMART, BIG W looking in your direction...)

10. Understand why nursing tops have room for a 9 month belly in them.  Usually you're breastfeeding AFTER the baby is born.  Not before. 

Riveting stuff.  To be continued.....