Attempted Laundry 101

It's like my laundry has sex with itself and multiplies.  This is especially true in the post-ninja apocalyptic zone of destruction.

It sounds simple enough.   Wash clothes.   Dry clothes.  Put clothes away.   Wear clothes.  Repeat as necessary.  Well... allow me to introduce you to reality.

It goes more like this :

Wash clothes.
Cram too much in the dryer.
Wash another load while first one dries.
Realize later that load in the dryer now stinks as it sat half dry for hours because you overloaded it.
Throw that on the floor.
Move second load from washing machine to dryer.
Put most of first load back in washing machine.
Kick the rest into the corner to stink.
Turn on washer and dryer.
Go to bed.

Return at 4 or 5am.
Note- dryer should be open now with half its contents hanging out.
Make mental note to nag partner about trashing the joint.
Procrastinate instead of emptying dryer.
Drink coffee.
Attempt to scrounge an outfit for the kids from the dryer.
Dress kids.
Empty dryer.
Get interrupted.
Move yesterday's first load back to-  shit.  it's all stagnant smelling again.  Procrastinated too long.
Re-wash first load for the third time.

Go about your day and forget about it until the next day.
Re-wash a fourth and final time.
Move that load to dryer.
Gather stinking pile of rejected first load moistness from the corner you kicked it to.
Put in washing machine and add some more from the epic pile you've accumulated whilst the machine was occupado.
Carry dry clothes upstairs and throw haphazardly on spare bed.
Go back and collect everything you dropped on the way.
Almost fall down the stairs because you're rushing.

Later, check on dry clothes and realize they need a little longer.
Swear a little bit about bad weather and how you don't use the washing line when it's sunny either cause you ain't got time for that.
Go to bed and forget the load in the machine... wet..... stinky.....

It just dawned on me that I haven't completed the task of laundry in about 5 years.  Mount Washmore, and Mount Foldmore are permanent fixtures in my life.  In fact, they take up so much of my time,  they're like children.

When Wonderboy and Hurrikane are both at kindy, I'm always comforted in the knowledge that I'm in no danger of slacking.

Stay tuned for the next episode in this instructional series:  How to take the day off.