Confessions of a Ninja

I was sitting on the couch while the boys had their nap today.  Quietly eating half a muesli bar I found discarded under the beanbag. 


This wouldn't be a confession if I didn't do embarrassing things, people.  I don't give a fuck.


So, as I chewed my salvaged treat, I got to thinking about an article I read yesterday.  It was shared by one of the elite ninjas I happen to know.  I'm pretty sure it's my absolute favourite article ever.  Here's a link if you haven't already read it.
The subtle art of not giving a fuck


There it was.  All of life's great mysteries summed up succinctly using the F bomb something like 127 times.  Hey, if it works, who am I to argue with it?


I try not to give a fuck about stupid things.  It's all part of the ninja code.  rule #7 - flip the bird.  Potatoes gonna potate.  And so on.  (Coming soon- The Ninja Code)


And so it dawned on me, that the code of the ninja is very much based on this random guy's beliefs- and more particularly, about not giving a fuck.  Perhaps it'd be clearer if I called it "Only give a fuck about important shit" but it doesn't quite have the same ring to it.  As ^^that guy, Mark Manson said- not giving a fuck doesn't mean you don't give a fuck.  (seriously just click the link.   I can't say it any better.)

He doesn't give a fuck most of the time.  He's really quite a revolutionary child if you look at it that way.


It takes a certain amount of wisdom for an adult ninja to keep their fucks in check though.  A....... ninja like restraint, perhaps? 


I seem to have started a bit of a list-writing tradition, so in light of this ground breaking new information, I have some confessions to make.  In list form!  These are some things I shouldn't give a fuck about..... but do.


1. I can't drink coffee without cream in it anymore.  I'm that spoiled.
2. I don't have the balls to leave the volume up on the car stereo at a red light.  Sha-aaame.
3. I don't reverse park because I look like a damn fool.
4. Bakery bread or no bread.  I may be a tightwad, but not with the bread.
5. I prefer to be alone with my junk food because I don't have to share it.

More confessions to come.  HurriKane has arisen.......

Next week we'll talk about the Ninja Code.  Until then!

Life Hacks

I don't know about you,  but I love a good life hack.  Those little clippy things that keep the doritos fresh... excellent.   Making new stuff with old sauce jars- awesome.   But what about the daily stuff.

I'm pretty creative but I don't have time every day to be gettin' my craft on.  There are small ninjas afoot, afterall.  Getting into small ninja mischief.

So here are my top tips for being your best ninja, and overcoming the daily problems of #mumlife.

1.  No bathtub.

Buy an inflatable pool for $10.  Stick it in the shower.  Voila.  Instant kid's bathtime excellence.

2. Sick of cooking

Make twice as much of everything.   Everything?   Yes.  Smoothies in the morning can be poured ready for the afternoon if you double the batch.  Spaghetti.... sauces.... dough.... freeze everything.   What's not to love about a treasure trove of mystery meals?

3.  Sick of cleaning

Load all the junk on the floor into a basket.  You can either a) hide the basket of junk or b) put everything away room by room using your trusty basket.  Serious timesaver.  And upper body workout.  Nice!
4. Climbing kids

Tie the dining chair legs together.  You heard me.

This is why.  It's just easier than worrying about head injuries.

5. Outnumbered by kids

Babywearing.  Most of the best ninjas I know are babywearers.  I actually don't know how to leave the house without a sling or something.   Wonderboy and Hurrikane are getting big now and shit gets real if one of them isn't safely snuggled (restrained from running off!!) in the sling.  I am not an octopus, and I accept this limitation by babywearing.

6. Fussy eaters driving you half mental

Blender bender.  No, not margaritas.  At least not for the children.  Smoothies!  Wonderboy won't even smell a strawberry in its natural (apparently offensive) state.  Blend it up though and he practically inhales it.  Blend all the stuff.  Freeze some of that, too.

7. No time to scratch ass

Take shortcuts.  Rinse and repeat.  Dishes not done?  Rinse and stack.  If they don't stink you're ok.  Laundry piling up?  (see attempted laundry 101) -pre-dig for the required clothes the night before you need them.  Ran out of small nappies?  Use the bigger ones you have and wing it.  Bust out the cloth, even.  What's the alternative?   Crazy rush to buy expensive chemist nappies?  This ninja says no.

Those are my top 7 ninja hacks so far.  Stay tuned for developments!